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Art Trade With one of my new friends on DA. She's about to go to Iraq w/ the Army. :(

She did a pic of the Ozzman for me, and since she's a raging Evanescence fan I decided to do Amy Lee For her.

Bird by Bird

I woke up with something to say today. I'm gonna go right ahead and say it, even though I'm probably the only one listening, so I'll say it plain without much window dressing. Maybe some others who are 'wired backwards' will see this and take a bit of strength from it.

What do I mean by wired backwards?

Our society has elevated things like grudges, blame, revenge to some exalted status they never deserved. Man, we are ALL about that "eye for an eye' crap. We embrace it not just as individuals, but as families, communities, nations, even as species. Hatred and indifference to the suffering of others, because "It's not my problem. What could I possibly do about it anyway?" and "If you look back they brought it on themselves, they made the bed, let em lie in it."

I, and I think quite a few others like me are wired to see the mirror version of this. Instead of always looking forward to the next shiny new thing waiting to be picked up and used, we look back. We wonder, "What have I left behind that I should have kept with me. What have I left broken that could still be mended. There used to be a bridge here, Can I rebuild it?"

Sure I whine too much, and look back at the past too much. I dwell on things I cannot fix. I get a lot of crap for it. I've always been wired this way. It has always been something for others to criticize.

Let it go, move on, forget.
Don't worry about what you can't change,
There's bigger stuff than you, broken out there, that needs attention.

I hear all that and I even agree to an extremely limited extent.

I look back more than is healthy. I stare at love lost, faith shattered, friendship abandoned. In doing so I stay focused on the fact that their WAS love, there WAS faith, there WAS friendship. I want to know how such fine things got crushed so it will never happen again. I do not like to repeat mistakes and how can I prevent doing so if I ignore the past as something done and gone.

So I divorce myself of the throw-away mindset embraced by the rest of society. If something lovely lies broken in the dust I'd much rather pick it up and examine it carefully for what repairs might be made.

Most would just mutter "useless" and chuck it on the trash pile. They go out and get new love, new faith, new friendship. Oblivious to the fact that they will throw that into the landfill soon too.

This is a problem.

If we treat the world as though nothing is worth saving, then WE are not worth saving.

It's true that some things can't be fixed. But this is claimed a lot more often than it is true. Fixing things takes time, and emotional investment that people are rather stingy with by nature. But I'm wired backwards.

If the only thing I learn by turning sadness over in my head it how not to create the same sadness again, it's still a good day.

On a great day, a bleeding broken bird flies again.

How many mangled birds have we left behind us, as individuals, as families, as communities, as nations? How many more as a species? For god sakes, the very planet we tread on is fast becoming one of them. It still flutters along for now, but its wings are creaking under the strain.

We do not have a shiny new world to pick up if we throw this one away.

It isn't that I'm too self-absorbed to care about the million tragedies happening across the globe. It's that I believe we have to start small and work our way up. How can we address a problem as a species that we cannot deal with as individuals?

Bird by Bird.

Allright guyz...

Sizes and styles/materialz

I still need them. *nods*

E-mail if you don't wish to post.

NERV #1

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Gabrielle Colored!

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I still plan to add  a quote to the right side of the page and maybe a simple background, but after that she's done!

Sorry bout the crappy photo, my camera settings got messed up a bit. :(

Parvati and Shiva WiP

more progress



It is the one year anniversary of the day I lost my mind.

It's also the 19th.

Figures...

And then THIS happened...

Um...

Saw a picture of a lovely girl today and just HAD to start drawing her.

UM... This is my first serious figure study in like almost 20 years...

It is far from finished, but I wanted to create some proof that this was happening in case I royally mess it up later.
I have no idea where this came from. Or if it means I have to stop telling people I can't draw.